The Answers.....

You all know I was buggin' the fuck out when I read some of these questions that ya'll left in my comments section right...so much so that I needed to leave the warm and comfy confines of the crib to go BACK to the store and get ANOTHER Sw.isher to make sure I could answer some of them...LOL

....Enjoy......

Jus' Writin' Life asked:

What would you say is your strongest trait and why?

My strongest trait I think would be my personality in general.....I know that might sound cliche, a bit conceited even, but its the truth...*shrug* I am just a real cool cat...somebody that would be referred to as a real ass ni**a. I love sports. I love drinks. I love women..(especially those with nice applebottoms...lol). I like to kick it, but I take care of business too....Those of you Bloggers that I have had the opportunity to meet may attest to this as well...I love to laugh, have a good time, as well as meet new people...well I am going off on a tangent so I will just reel this back in like this...my strongest trait, I am finding out, may be my biggest weakness....the same things that make me laugh, may end up making me want to shed a tear or two sometimes...

What is the one thing you won't tolerate in a relationship with a woman and why?

I would have to say that I am pretty laid back and easy going so it would really take something pretty foul to make me wanna split...If I just had to name one thing I guess I would say that I just won't tolerate disloyalty...in any way, shape, form or fashion...and when you think about it that tends to blanket alot of areas...

Merriam Webster defines loyal as:

"Main Entry: loy·al
Pronunciation: 'loi(-&)l
Function: adjective
Etymology: Middle French, from Old French leial, leel, from Latin legalis legal
1 : unswerving in allegiance: as a : faithful in allegiance to one's lawful sovereign or government b : faithful to a private person to whom fidelity is due c : faithful to a cause, ideal, custom, institution, or product"

...so basically...the way I understand it...faithful to a private person to whom fidelity is due....yeah....*nodding my head*..that's it....that's the shit I want... cause I know what I am coming with...

If you had to thumb through regrets in your life, which would be your biggest and why?

Fortunately, I don't believe in regrets...It took me a minute to realize that, there are no such thing as coincidences....everything happens the way it was meant to happen...I feel like in my 29 years, I have seen and done so many things...and only scraped the tip of the iceberg....there is so much more that I see doing in my future and as long as I stay focused...a brotha gonna be alright...so to answer the question...no regrets...my shit is unfolding just the way its supposed too...*wink*

Kem asked:

A woman approaches you in the grocery store. You consider her to be only mildly attractive and dressed quite homely. What is the one thing she can say to you to make you change your intial impression, almost immediately, and invite her out for coffee?

...Okay,...how about something similar too this has happened to me before...*smh*...I don't know if there is any one thing that she could say...and I say that because I like real women...you know I am from the South and that's what I was raised around for the larger part of my life...from my Grandma all the way down to my many aunties and older cousins...one common factor among all the women that I have dated or dealt with in some way was that they were all just real in some way or another...whether it be making that money in the corporate world, be it in the kitchen, keeping the house, raising the kids, or hell even in the bedroom...something would have to be triggered within me that lets me know she is of some substanance...feel me??

If you lost your job, your homes, your car and credit cards today, what is the very first thing you would do in response to your new situation?

Damn...this is a good one...well if this sudden rush of unfortunate events all happened at the same time, and this is me assuming it was a snowball effect and one thing eventually led to another....The way I have myself set up right now as far as financial investments and retirement plans I would have to say that if I did lose my job ( which probably led to everything else) it may be both a Blessing and a Curse...by that I mean...I have always talked about becoming my own boss and just managing my properties and the one or two business ventures I am soon plan to undertake....this may be the proverbial "match under my ass"...LOL. But then again if it were to happen right now I would really have to reorganize myself financially and make wise decisions with the resources I would be left with...they taught us this in Grad school...Revisiting Your Power Plan...*wink*

Funkee asked:

What is your biggest vice?

Hmmm...my biggest vice...I would have to say lack of hygiene...seriously...It really irks me when folks ain't right in some areas... and know it, but still won't do anything about it...I mean c'mon...your ass is grown...you smell yourself...you know when your shit ain't quite right...go head and handle that...and get at your boy when you do...LOL

What position do you sleep in?
*re-lighting spliff for this one*

LOL...man I tell you...the more I think about me opening myself up with these questions, the more I ask myself..."Da hell did you just do?"...LOL..well as far as I know when I fall asleep I am laying on my left side??...I am not sure...I just know that I tend to sleep in one spot...unless I happen to not be sleeping alone and wind up in the spooning position...LOL

Have you ever stolen anything as an adult?

Oh no question...lol...I steal blog ideas from folks all the time...LOL..but I always give my props the stealee..but aside from that and maybe those loose candies in the grocery store, and maybe some pistachios...nothing major...*wink*

Nikki asked:

When was your last physical fight and what was it about?

The last physical fight I had was in the 9th grade with one of the boys that lived around the corner...you see his sister and I were...ummm going together and he kinda had a problem with it cause his sister was a hottie and he knew she would give it up... hehehe...and him being the typical overprotective brother thought he was gonna kick my ass and make me leave her alone...uummm nope...didn't happen...and actually we didn't fight...he swung...I ducked....and gave his ass a nice little two piece and a biscuit while he was uncovered and by then the P.E. coach ran up because of the crowd gathering and stepped in between us...lol..it all happened so fast but he had a swollen lip and I was still kickin' it with his sister...LOL

Who's your favorite comic book character?

Without a doubt...Professor X...I think the fact that he was able to read minds and see what all of his X-Men saw was just the dopest and granted he was in a wheelchair...he was the MAN...

Not including sex, what is your best stress reliever?

Well I would have to say its a toss up between "aroma therapies" and my jazz collection..(hell they often go hand in hand...lol). They tend to keep me sane...although I am taking applications for a personal masseus to add to the mix...hhmmm....Herbals + Good Jazz + Massage = Ultimate Stress Reliever *wink*

Singing wanted to know:

When you leave this earth...what do you want your daughter to remember about you?

...see...she trying to bring the Daddy out of me...what I would want Deja to remeber after I have cashed in all my chips...besides the fact that you were my reason for living.....to know that I did my best...I know that I wasn't physically there with you when you were younger, just know that I had to leave the situation I was in to try and make things better for you in the long run and so far it seems to be a worthwhile sacrifice....I tried to be the best father to you that I could even though we were 1000 miles apart...and also I would want her to remember that you were the greatest thing to ever happen to me...and in a sense you saved my life by forcing me to grow up and be a man...

Since you are about to embark on 30, have you accomplished what you had planned to by this time?

Man, to see where I was and where I am now...I think I am doing a little better than what I, along with many others ever expected...Coming to Chicago was sort of a test in itself...I had only visited here like once or twice when I was a teenager and then when the invitation was offered to relocate here, I jumped at it cause it was like my life bouy in that sea of bullshit I was quickly becoming consumed with...

Where do you see yourself when you are turning 40?

Well in ten years I could see myself maybe married, another child, and continuing to work the hell out of my plan so I can retire by 50...LOL

Brutha Code asked:

Have you ever dated a girl you didn't really like but did so just because she was fine as hell?

....oh shit...HAVE I???!?!?!?...*smh*...I think every man has...whether they will admit it or not...*shrug*, but I know I have...and on more than one occassion...if I remember it right....ya'll know my weakness for a nice set of full lips and a nice applebottom...I mean I don't think I would do some shit like that now, just because I don't have the patience to listen an entire conversation filled with useless dribble, but back in my younger days....no question...lol

Ten years ago, where did you see yourself in ten years?

...that would make me just about to make 20...Deja was just being born, I didn't have my degree...I had a piece of a job...I could not see where I would be in the next month, let alone ten years down the road...that was a rough time in my life and I was just trying to keep my head above water...

Uh... where errrybody stayin in July???

...now for that one...you gonna have to talk to my cohort in crime...here

Tekyla wanted to know:
Do you reeeeally think the FEED THE CHILDREN folks...feed the children?

..umm...I think so..lol...you never know though....with all the recent corporate scandals going on and being reported in the news EVERYDAY...it makes you wonder if Sally Struthers is pocketing some of the cash...lol

Boxers? Or nothing at all?

That depends....soley on whether I am sleeping alone or not..*wink*

Where is the most exotic place you've ever been?

I would venture to say that while I was doing my AT ( Annual Training) in the Army Reserve, many moons ago, we went to Germany and from there a few buddies of mine got a chance to visit Amsterdam...and let me tell you...it IS the shit over there...lol

Edwige was curious about:

If money wasn't a problem and you could travel anywhere, where would you go and why?

I would stick with my orginal answer on this one...Tahiti....no question...just something about the photos I have seen of the place that make me wanna just go there and kick back with a few friends or that special person and just LIVE..for those few days or weeks or whatever...

When was the last time you were whipped by your mom or dad and do you remember why?

Now any Black person that tells you they don't remember the last ass whipping they recieved is lying to you....Period...lol Hell yeah I remeber the last ass whipping I got..I was in the 9th grade and fucked around and got an F in Algebra II and tried to change the damn grade on my report card...*smh*...I know, I deserved, it but shit it was worth a try...I had too!!

Do you tell your friends about your blog?

I kinda felt this question coming...and unbelieveably I felt it was gonna come from you..lol....I do tell certain people about my Blog...one's that are really friends and I know will just read it a trip the fuck out on it...not get mad if I were to mention them or some said events in it...I know alot of people that I wouldn't reveal it to also...the ones that aren't really friends, but, how do you DC Bloggers call it...."frociates"....lol

My Cyber Sis wanted to know:

If you were King for a day, describe your first proclamation?

..hhhmmm...this is a good one, cause there is SO much I would wanna do, but I would have to go with one I hold close and dear to my heart....and that is giving people (read: employees) the option, as they do in some parts of the working world, to work a 4 day work week consisting of 10 hour workdays thus giving the option for a 3 day weekend....yeah, I mean it was a toss up between this and Slap-Boxing ole' G. Dubya on the White House lawn....LMBAO!!

What is your favorite movie line?

...ok, what is up with all these hard ass questions baby girl?? LOL...ok I would have to go with this line right here...

""Listen to me and listen good. I don't give a shit what happened to you. You hear me? Now get yourself together, get back out there and git me my money!"

--Goldie in The Mack

...uuummm this should be obvious...ROFLMBAO!!!

Miss Keish wanted to know:

Tell us about three of your all-time favorite R&B songs & why?

Good question...There are so many, but I guess the Top 3 would be:

Send It On- D'Angelo

That song reminds me of a younger time in my life....I mean, I grew up to music like this...both in the church and at get togethers my parents used to host...late 70's funk and old school gospel...I like the words and the music that go with that song and I have heard it interpreted so man different ways......

Fortunate- Maxwell

Another classic in which a man is proclaiming his praises to the High Heavens for sending him this woman...Need I elaborate??? *thought not..:o)

and last I would say...

Got To Give It Up..Parts I and II- Marvin Gaye

...anybody over the age of 25 just understands this one...anyone else reading this and is under the age of 25....Get the Hell Out cause you too young to be reading this anyway!!!

If you were to get married(outside of your blog marriage I guess..lol), who would take the title of Best Man?

...if for some strange ass reason I was afflicted with the urge to get married *shrug*...It would be between Mikey and Steady...

What's the first thing you notice about a woman when you meet her?

Ok...now this is like a trick question, right??..I am supposed to say some warm heartfelt shit like "Oh, the first thing I notice is her personality and the way she carries herself"...*crickets*....ummm, yeah I could say that, but upon initially seeing her its gonna be the body...I know it may sound shallow, but hey, its the truth, I am gonna check out what she is working with and that is the truth...and once I get to talking to her and whatnot, I will eventually find out what her mental state is and dependent upon that, I will know how to approach her from then on...as either a friend or someone that I would like to get to know more intimately...but hey, that's just me...*wink*

Cee asked:

How did you go about making the decision to invest in homeownership (in reference to the home you rent out)? Have you found it to be hard to deal with tenants and how do you deal with appeasing their wants when they decide not to get you your money on time? LOL...

..ok, investing in real estate is something that has been around me for my entire time in Chicago, which has been about 10 years...I mean its the only really sound investment out there in my opinion....Once I purchased my home (the one I live in)..it was like an addiction...searching the MLS...negotiating contracts...looking at different properties...I like every aspect of it...and the money ain't too bad either...Now dealing with unruly tenants, fortunately, I haven't had to go thru that. My tenant is on Section 8 and the voucher comes right to me...*thanks God*...LOL, but seriously...its cool and I wish more Blacks would look into buying real estate in the hood instead of letting the "others" come in and buy it all up.

Would you be okay with being a stay at home dad and your wife be the bread winner?

I totally would have no problem being a stay at home dad...mainly because it would allow me the time toj really dig my paws into my real estate venture..

What is the most embarrassing CD in your collection?

...uumm that's a tough one...I would have to say that the most embarrassing CD would have to be....

Blood In My Eye- Ja Rule...pure and utter B.U.L.L.S.H.I.T.....nuff said

The Lady with the Million Dollar Smile asked:

If you could give up something you have for something you want, what would the trade-off be?

Interesting...I think the one thing that I would give up in exchange for something I want...would have to be me giving up my inability to open up completely...I would dump that shit with the quickness in exchange for someone that made me feel like I didn't need to hold on to that shit anymore.....May sound corny, but its the truth...

If there was one life lesson you could teach your daughter, what would it be?

...one Life Lesson...I would teach her that teen-age boys are the DEB-BIL!!!!!LOL

..seriously, I would teach her that your heart is a very precious thing and to try her best to not let anyone get close to it if you think there is a possibility that they may try to harm or hurt it in any way...

Favorite Movie?

Love Jones- No question...

Muffin inquired about:

automatic or stick?

I am capable of handling both so it don't really matter, but I happen to prefer stick...

biggest turn off (could be emotional or physical trait)

Women who smoke cigarettes..*bleeeccchhhhh*

something you will pass down to your daughter

..that would be my jazz collection and my life insurance, should something ever happen to me..*shrug*...hadn't really given that one much thought...


Miss Off The Hook 2005 a.k.a. Danja...blew me back with these:

Do you like big, soft, plush women and have you ever experienced the loving (physical, mental, etc) of a big woman?

*excuse me while I light this up real quick*
*inhaling DEEPLY*

...Ok....Yes, I have had the pleasure of being with a "healthy" woman and let me address all the men out there with this comment, You truly have not lived until you have had the "Big Woman Experience"...honestly...it is like nothing you have ever had in your life, I promise you...lol...but for me, I think I experienced it, learned from it, and moved on...No disrespect to the healthy women, cause I tend to gravitate towards the thicker women *shrug*....so I just see it as a little more to love on the bigger female...but I do have limitations...she can't just be sloppy...unh-ugh...nah, can't do it...she needs to be classy...and know how to carry herself...

If you HAD to choose one of the following three sexually submissive situations which would it be?
a) hog-tied with a ball gag in your mouth,
b) Nipple Clamps connected (with no slack) to your ball sack, or
c) Hot wax poured on your anus

*opening a fresh Heinekin*

Okay, now I am gonna have to go with Answer D, Danja...oh you say there is no answer D...damn, that's too bad...cause there is always Option D and that is ...NONE!!! So not into the S & M thing...LOL

What is your favorite Prince song?

Adore- No question..I love that song and everything it represents...*wink*

The always thought provoking Kajuana asked:

What's the first thing yo do on Sunday mornings...as soon as you get out of the bed?

Normally, depending on which urge is the strongest...its either go piss then brush my teeth or brush my teeth and then piss...lol But hell that's an everyday thing anyway...LMBAO

nah, normally on Sundays I will get up and make myself breakfast..Eggs, grits, scrambled eggs, some toast and OJ...and after a huge breakfast, I watch Sportscenter for a little bit and then begin the duties of getting ready for the upcoming week..I know...TOO EXCITING!!!

Do you step out of the shower with the same foot each time?

Huh?...I suppose so..I have never paid attention to be perfectly honest..LOL

What is your least favorite household chore ?

I would have to say my least favorite household chore would be, cleaning closets...granted its not done all that often, but when the time comes to do it, I really hate it because its always so hard to figure out what to donate to charity and what to keep..*smh*

Ty asked:

what do u want to be remember for when your long gone?

I would want to be remembered for always trying to give back to the community...for trying to make a difference by reinvesting in the urban neighborhoods....Its like Devin sings about in the hook on Somebody's Gotta Do It off the Roots Tipping Point album...

"Somebody's gotta be there when it gets ugly
Somebody's gotta be there when it gets bloody
Somebody's gotta get their hands dirty
Yo, it's a fucked up job but somebody's gotta do it
Somebody's gotta come up with a plan
And be there when the shit hits the fan
I hope y'all out there understand
Look man it's a fucked up job, but somebody's gotta do it"...

That pretty much sums it up for me...

(dead at danja's q's) But since she brought it up, Whats your favorite "time to get bizzy" song?

LOL...I would have to say damn near any slow cut by Luther...Big Luther, not Little Luther..or Maxwell...LMBAO

Do u have siblings? And if so where do u fall?

In fact I have two younger sister's and I am the only boy...*grinning*

Sun wanted to know:

What would be the one thing that would break your heart? (sans a death)

Anything that would invole the hurt, harm, or endangerment of my daughter..and the fact that I couldn't prevent it...

Have you ever had an undeniable chemistry with someone who was totally not your type?

Nope...Thank God...that would be a mess...*smh*

Cats or dogs?

Dogs, I guess...*shrug*

Brown Sugar asked:

Name three bloggers you'd get with. Hypothetically speaking, ofcourse. *karate chopping & displaying defense stance*

LOL...I am so not about to answer that question...sorry Sugar...that is like putting the steel to my head and squeezing the trigger, not having loaded the gun myself...just painful, in every aspect...sorry..

What's your favorite ice cream?

Butter Pecan...

Do you want anymore churrin (children)?

I have entertained the thought of a son, but then it solely depends on what the wife has to say about it...because I refuse to become another baby-daddy..lol...that shit is COSTLY!!!

EJ asked

What's the scariest thing that happened to you?

I would have to say the scariest thing was when my great grandma died when I was about 14 or so and I saw my mother, whom she raised, break down at the kitchen sink and me not knowing what to say or do to console her...so I just walked up to her and turned her around and gave her this HUGE HUG and started crying with her....

If someone were to offer you $5 Million to not get married ever, would you take the offer?

...uummm, that's a hard one...cause if the offer was made right now, I would jump on it in a heartbeat, but ...if down the line after I had all that cash and met the woman of my dreams I couldn't do anything about it, but be sick, when she decided to marry some other dude cause I told her I did some stupid shit back when I was 29 that is coming back to bite me in the ass...LOL...that was a good one though..*thumbs up*

Name 3 love songs that you absolutely hate.

Let's see....
Ain't None of Your Friends Business- Ginuwine
Sorry 2004- Rueben Studdard
Damn near all the cuts on Carl Thomas' last album........

Bless you Coley for keeping it simple...lol:

What is your middle name?
Cortez

What is your biggest regret so far in life?

NONE!!!...*wink*

If you could change one thing about yourself (inside or out) what would it be and why?

I think I would change my habit of not saying NO when I need to ....I tend to always end up in some shit cause I didn't just say NO soon enough...*smh*

Dee asked:

what's the best thing about being a daddy?

Watching my daughter grow into a beautiful, intelligent young lady right before my very eyes..*wink*

are you originally from Chicago?

Nope..Southern Boy at Heart...Originally from AL....

Why did you start blogging? And what does blogging do for you?

I started Blogging one day at work when I was bored...lol..I used to read Elle's Garden all the time and various ones she had linked on her site...I found out that there were some really interesting folks out there and thought, Shit, I can do this..I know I got some shit to say!!! LMBAO ...and the rest is history...

Lady Dayrell asked:

ideal woman? ("regular" and celebrity)?

.....*crickets*

..........*more crickets*

LOL...I have no idea what my ideal woman would be in real life...I have met and dated all types of women, and I enjoyed them all for the most part...I obviously haven't found the right one yet, hence the Bachelorism going on over here....but I have not given up....we will meet...one day...*wink*

fave dish that your mother cooks?

ALL OF THEM.....ROFLMBAO!!!

bonus: if you weren't living in the US, what alternate country would you live in?

I would have to say that I would like to live in Trinidad for a while...I have always thought it to be an exotic place and it would be cool to just live there like a year or two...

*Mental Note 2 Self....If you ever think about doing the 3 question meme thing again...just go ahead and pimp slap yourself.....TWICE!!!....this damn thing took 4-ever!!*

Comments

[dee]

you killed me with the 2 piece and a biscuit!! I haven't heard that in forever!!
You seem much older than 29.99999 LOL

great answers....good job

[MsThing]

These 3 things memes ARE hard work. I once opened myself up to 3 photo requests. NEVER again!!!

Glad to see you touched on the real estate investment topic. I began working for an investment firm in Nov. 2004. It's THE best thing to happen to me and my bank account. I'm constantly sharing investment advice and tips with my family/friends, PRAYING they'll go forth and prosper from my words.

[cee]

LOL...Shit, I bet it took forever to do cuz it sure as hell took forever to read. LOL...But, more props to you for doing it and letting us get to know a little more about you...

[Ty]

this was reaaaaal interesting. Thanks for answering (us) and not hiding. LOL im still laughing at danja's questions.

[Keish]

Man...this was a LOT Kelzz! I'm having second thoughts already...lol. Great answers...even with the questions you didn't really answer....lol

[alia]

It's been great delving into the mind of Kelzz. I don't know if I could have answered all these questions.

[Nikki]

Whoa, that took a minute to read, but it was worth the wait. I see you have a good ass sense of humor, a great amount of love and compassion, and are spiritually grounded.

[Edwige]

I'm sure it took forever to complete but like folks have already said it was worth the read.

[Yolanda]

Whew! That was long, and I am so proud of you for answering every last one the way they should have been answered. *wink*

Can I ever know enough about the man behind Kelvin's Corner? I think not.

One more thing: So glad you're not into S&M. hehehe

[Sun]

Cosigning with Yolanday...

Great answers...

[Toshiko]

loved this meme thing... learned a lot about'cha. LOVED Danja's questions LOL

*taking a quick nap after reading all this*
lol

Great read Kelvin!

[Chevonne]

Wow - I know that took quite a while to finish. Nice answers though! Gave us a nice peek into you :) Great read.

-The lady with the million dollar smile *blushing*

[Sis]

Love your approach at answering these but ummm just ONE thing! -- YOU MISSED ONE OF MY QUESTIONS!!!!!

*throws sisterly FIT*

[Coley]

Hi Kelvin Cortez (I don't know ur last name yet) Thanks for opening up! I feel like I know you a little bit better. I was thinking about doing the question thing, but after Danja came with thos crazy ass S&M questions.... I'm scared! :)

[Belle]

These were good questions. Hilarious even. Danja wins the prize for craziest questions ever.

I think you covered everything this time so you don't have to worry about doing it again. Good job, sweetie.

[danja]

*bowing bowing* thank you thank you!!

@toshiko...you love my questions cuz you love me. you've known me for how many years now? like five? have you expected anything different? lol

@Ty... Hey, I just wanted to know!!

@Coley... Don't be scared.

In fact, Im going to invite you all to come over and do the same for me... no question is too wild!!

and @ kelvin... So you have had the love of a big girl eh? *raising eyebrows* you are right, there is nothing like it. especially 6'0 tall narrow-waisted, big bootied NYC supafreaks!!! *pole dancing* ok ahem Im done... *hiding from Yolanda*

loved the answers except i said you HAD to choose and u copped out. I'm more of a sub myself, so I'm kinda turned on that you arent into the sub stuff... *wink*

Peace,
Ms. Off The Hool 2005

[Brown Sugar]

WTF-ever!!!! You could have answered that hypothetical ass question. LOL If my ass answered them, you could. LOL These aren't REAL queries darling. Not in the least bit. Well...at least I didn't take it as such when I answered. I made sure to preface my answer to that question as this, "Judging by their words and words only." hee hee Oh well...I guess you took the safe route. I'm done badgering you now. LOL

[Dayrell]

Umm? *crickets* Yea? That's why I don't think you would EVER catch me doing one of these bad boys...waaaay to LONG! But you handled it like a pro Kelvin. *thumbs up*

:)))